Pele Oh! Baba Segi

When I attended Church as a younger child, I would often hear the Pastors ask women seeking for the “fruit of the womb” to come outside for special prayers, or that special programs have been organized for them. At the time, I thought infertility was female, as I am sure many of us did. The probability of the problem being male did not occur to me.

As I grew older and began to understand things better, I started questioning why women were the only ones called for these special programs. I was actually more concerned about the spousal support. This was because I had seen Nollywood movies where the wife was sent out of her husband’s house on the grounds of infertility. Family members, mothers-in-law and sisters-in-laws especially would often bring home other women for the husbands to ‘fertilize’ and cajole the wife to bear with it. I had seen this a lot in movies and heard of these stories in real life to reinforce the belief that infertility was a woman’s problem.

The explanation behind these talks were usually that she has had an abortion in the past which has caused her womb to be destroyed. If not that, then it is spiritual. I saw many women get stigmatized with this and I saw their struggles.

Then I got into medical school and I saw things. My orientation about fertility changed. I learnt that there is such a thing as male factor cause of infertility which accounts for about 30–40% of the causes of infertility, as well as female factor causes which holds the same statistical value. 10% was attributed to the problem being from both of them and another 10% being from unknown causes. I saw these things beyond the textbook. I saw them in real life.

You see, the society prides man on his ability to be a man in the other room. Not just his prowess, but his ability to father a child. But for reasons that beats me, cannot easily fathom the idea that infertility could be the man’s fault.

I have seen a patient in clinic whose husband’s seminal fluid analysis showed that he had azoospermia which is the medical term for the complete absence of sperm from the semen ejaculated by the man. I have also seen a man with only one functional testis with a low sperm count present in urology clinic after years of looking for the fruit of the womb. I have heard stories from my senior colleagues who have managed women for infertility to discover later on that the man is the one with the issue. One story that gives the Baba Segi vibes is the one that finally prompted me to write about this.

The patient is the last of four wives of an Alhaji who presented on account of inability to conceive following her marriage to him. Alhaji has fifteen children between his three wives and as such reluctantly agreed to do a seminal fluid analysis. When the patient got home, the other three wives begged her not to scatter their home because none of their children were Alhaji’s. The patient saw the doctor before her next appointment without Alhaji and told him of her findings. She wanted to confirm what the other wives had told her. The seminal fluid analysis was reviewed and it was revealed that he had azoospermia.

One thing most of these stories have in common is the fact that the men believe that they cannot be the cause of the problem which puts the pressure on the women to look for the child. Fertility clinics are usually filled with women here in Nigeria, even though the books teach us to investigate an “infertile couple”. It is unfortunate actually.

Yes, the abortion she has done in the past could be the cause for the infertility, but have you also considered that your lifestyle could also be a part of the problem? I am referring to the men here. You think it is only women who cannot “live her best life” without consequences? You are also affected my dear. Your drinking and smoking lifestyle with different women left and right is also responsible. Check yourself Bro. Just because you have had a child that is yours last year does not mean you cannot have fertility issues today.

Maybe if more men were diagnosed with infertility and were asked to come for special prayers for the fruit of the balls, maybe, just maybe the stigma would reduce. In the words of my consultant, “it is not if, how or when the child was made, but the quality of the child made”.

P.S. You should read “The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives” by Lola Shoneyin to get the reference to the title. It’s a good read.